I bitch & gripe all i like!

Archive for December 2008

I’ve moved. Pls visit

www.lilmsbitchy.blogspot.com

instead 😀

I apologise for the lack of updates & the rather disturbing entry that i last posted. I realise many ppl r concerned & worried – esp those who saw the cuts on my hand. I thought no one would notice, but Gary(who was seated across the table) said ‘What happened to ur hand?’ & i was at a loss for words & he said ‘U cut urself?’ so i said yes. Even Shino who’s usually the joker amongst us gave me a hug & told me not to hurt myself again. I’m touched. Honestly. I know ppl care & i know i have to love myself…but it gets challenging to stay upbeat when so many things seem to get u down. I also can’t explain what happened. All i know is i went to sleep on Wed nite & woke up on Thurs morning feeling really depressed & upset. My mind kept going through the events that have disappointed me recently & suddenly i felt like i couldn’t take it anymore & all i wanted to do was find a blade to cut myself until i could see blood.

I’m feeling more well-adjusted now & the cuts r healing & i hope to deal with my depression in a better way next time. Anyway here r some pics from Diageo’s Xmas party last fri!

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We had quite a good time there since everyone was there to party & we were there soaking up the atmosphere @ Marina Barrage as well. Christine was practising how to look like a ghost in the second pic, & i was learning a special technique of pouring Guinness in the last pic. Lin (the person in charge of the Guardian Angel campaign) was teaching me how to do so & i must say he’s damn charming. Too bad the photo doesn’t show his face but he’s really got the charisma of a mature man 😛 Oh & Guinness doesn’t taste half-bad at all.

Then it was work again on Sat. A HTC event. We were handing out fliers to ppl along Orchard Rd & demonstrating the phone to anyone who was interested. But i made the blunder of handing the flyer to the HTC client herself cuz i didn’t recognise her from the casting. She took the flier from me & she was like ‘Amanda rite?’ so i actually said ‘U look familiar…’ OMG. That was seriously a super bimbotic moment. I swear i need to get a brain transplant cuz i’m so terrible @ recognising faces & names nowadays 😦 When the event was over i took a bus home & i felt ridiculous with my ‘SQ girl’ hair. I wonder how the SQ girls put up with the hard hair & tons of hairspray they must use each time.

photo540small Ta-dah. I hate the hair seriously.

photo501small Taken during the casting. I think a ponytail would look nice enough instead of the ‘SQ bun’.

Sometime during the week i went to this new eatery @ Wisma. The place is called ‘Whisk’ & i’m guessing the person who owns it is a cat-lover. The menu had a description of cats blah blah blah & its logo is that of a cat. ‘Whisk’ is short for whiskers i guess. But it was a pleasant place overall. Not fantastic or anything or not too bad either.

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Xmas & New year creeps up on us again. But i’m in no festive mood. All i wish for – the economy to get better, my family to be happy, & peace of mind for myself.

Whoa…i have been neglecting my blog so much that i didn’t even know wordpress has changed its format haha. I’ve been busy with project+work over the Sitex weekend. It was really madness for me cuz i had to deal with working @ Sitex, handing in my part for the grp essay and also roving on Fri night for the Anti-drinkdriving campaign. Didn’t help that my grpmate was pressing me to ‘revamp’ my part when i alr had NO time to do so & work @ Sitex really sucked 😦

I’ve been feeling very strained lately –  i feel like a rubber band that’s pulled so tight it’s gonna snap & break any moment. There has been alot of disappointments recently & i just feel very tired emotionally & physically, especially after crying. I’ve gone back to inflicting physical pain on myself so that somehow i can be distracted from my emotional worries. *sigh* I thought i’d kicked that habit long ago when i erased that certain someone from my mind but apparently things have happened to trigger this habit again. I’m not well I know. I have alot of baggage and i’m emotionally fragile so really, stop hurting me already. Whether it’s deliberate or not, whether ur genuinely sorry abt the mistakes u’ve made – it doesn’t matter cuz the damage is done. I cannot afford any more room for ur ‘mistakes’.

Sorry to everyone who has to read this – i just really need to vent my frustrations & there’s no better place than here on my blog.


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December 2008
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